I read this post regarding modesty from a friend and wanted to share it with you.
To be vulnerable, I’ll share a brief glimpse of my sinful heart: I tend to struggle with modesty and idolatry in this waiting period of getting back to my pre-pregnancy figure (or close to it). Being in between sizes (maternity clothes are too big and pre-pregnancy clothes are too small) is hard for me to enjoy wearing maternity clothes (makes me feel fat). Thus, I find myself trying to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes (many of which are too tight). Should I be modest and continue to wear maternity clothes or do I try to squeeze into clothes that I desperately want to wear again (inevitably making them immodest and unattractive)? We all know the right answer, but nevertheless when I am getting dressed in the morning, I don’t tend to grab the maternity dress first…. Thankfully, my husband let me purchase some “in between” sizes clothes that has given me a great solution for being tempted to think negatively or succumb to immodest apparel. But I still must regularly confess the sinful desires of my heart as they come, ask for forgiveness and choose righteousness. Just because I have two children, does not mean I do not also struggle with modesty (no, modesty is not just a problem for high-schoolers)! It is so easy to desire compliments on my physical appearance more than my desire for glorifying God. Instead I should begin by working on the motivations of my heart. For man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). [Edit update:To clarify- it is not wrong to want to get back into normal clothes- it is sinful when I voluntarily choose to wear clothes that are way too tight (making them immodest) just because I don’t want to wear maternity clothes. Foundationally, it is an issue of the idol of my heart (caring about what people think about me rather than the external effects with immodesty), I idolize man’s opinions of me over God’s thoughts about me.] There’s my life in a nutshell 😉 Hope you are challenged as well….
…..I am tired of seeing down ladies’ shirts…I am tired of seeing a lady’s chest. I am tired of going to the pool with my kids and wondering if women will fall out of their swimsuit. I am tired of women intentionally or unintentionally clothing themselves with low cut shirts or exceedingly deep V necks or dresses that wouldn’t even cover a baby doll. I know that I am guilty too.
I have the same hard problem. Deep down it is a heart issue. It is an issue about, who am I seeking to please or whose attention am I trying to obtain. It is an idol issue. I have turned a good thing into a god thing. I sometimes fight against trying to turn someones head with an outfit instead of simply taking care of my body, doing it well and having fun. I want to be fit for Jesus’s calling on my life. I want to be clean and well taken care of so that people will know I serve a God who values people and order and creativity. But those things can easily turn into idols. My shirts can be too low or improperly fitting…Justin tells me when that is the case. It is tiring to continuously be pulling up my jeans or holding my hand over my shirt so it doesn’t bare all when I lean down. Not to mention it is distracting to the minds of men/women alike when we are immodest. To both Christians and non…to the business man, the stay at home mom or the single friend. Images can set off dangerous thoughts that ought not to be. So I must work on it…daily if needed. I want to honor my husband, my kids and my Jesus.
I have the same struggles with going to stores and looking for a shirt that fits my body and my budget. It is difficult for everyone. Lots of things that are advertised are super cute, but not appropriate on. I don’t want to judge or condemn those who wear clothes that are a bit too low or too tight. I believe our culture has told us that it is wonderful to show it all off. [They say] it’s your right, it’s your body. But instead of empowering folks we have become a used people.
But what will I tell Katie when she wants something that isn’t very modest? I will tell her that I want people to see her face, first. Her deep blue eyes, her beautiful smile-to interact with her person. I don’t want men/women alike to be drawn to her body first. It is truly an act of art to see a woman that is well dressed (and humble). She can be wearing expensive clothes or not, but to see someone that is dressed in clothes that drawl attention to her face is an art.
Therefore ladies…seek to wear good clothes. When we see ladies/friends that have fitting clothes that are becoming lets shop there! I would rather have friends that have three wonderful outfits that fit then a wardrobe of clothes that they are constantly pulling up to cover their chest or down to cover their bum. Take the time to find out what fits on your body. Ask a good honest friend or your husband if it is appropriate-(humble ourselves). Save money to buy a good fitting bathing suit that you can wear while leaning over to help the kids or surfing at the beach. Don’t settle for the latest trends because we are getting older and we are having a difficult time with our age. BUY WHAT FITS and pray people will see our beautiful eyes smiling back at them desiring to tell them about the Jesus that loves them. Lets not seek after our own pleasures that are empty and never lead to joy.
Katie, someday we will have this discussion…I am sure sooner then later. And my promise to you is that I will help you shop-we can ask your friends as well. And we will save to spend the money to get you fun clothes that fit and that allow people to be drawn to your face. You are beautiful and what counts the most is the condition of your heart. And as we pray for you to seek Jesus we pray He will shine through your smile.
Owen, you too. We want you to have clothes that turn folks towards your face. That people will want to be around you because you care about what the Lord has given to you. We want you to take care of your body, but not to make it your God. We also pray for your heart…that it will be pure in its seeking of the King, and that people will ask about your joy from the inside out.
*PS this post is about no one in particular. It really is a reminder to me that clothing takes work, it does matter. We must have grace with others–it is a heart issue.
How were you challenged? How do you struggle with immodesty? May God be glorified in our choices for clothing this week!