Through television, internet, advertisements, and celebrities our children (especially girls) learn that external beauty is a high priority. We must discern when the desire to look outwardly appealing becomes borderline with vanity.
In the book, Raising Godly Tomatoes, Elizabeth Krueguer challenges mothers to instill inner beauty primarily before external attractiveness. She instructs mothers to speak with their young daughtersby saying these words:
Ask her [your daughter] if she thinks that a pretty little girl who is sassing her mother still looks pretty. When you see another nicely dressed child misbehaving, point this out and say, “That little girl has a pretty dress, but you don’t even notice it when she is acting so awful. The way she is acting makes her look ugly, don’t you think?” When you see a lovely smile, point that out and say, “Wasn’t that lady at the counter who helped us beautiful? I didn’t even notice her clothes, but she had such a friendly warm smile it just made her look beautiful.” And so on. Teach, teach, teach. Instill values, then teach some more!” (p.194)
It is also heplful to show your children that you prize inward beauty more than external beauty by your example. Does the amount of time you spend with the Lord campare with the amount of time you spend getting yourself ready? Perhaps this is an area that needs evalution. I have included some relevant verses to post on mirrors around your home. Instead of looking at ourselves, let’s meditate on truth!
1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
Proverbs 31:30 ESV
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
1 Peter 3:1-6 ESV
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, …
1 Samuel 16:7 ESV
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Psalm 139:14 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.
Proverbs 31:10-31 ESV
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. ..
Thanks for reading!