Genesis 2:18 states, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” How are we (as wives) being a helper suitable for him?
Throughout our dating and marriage life, Shaun and I have been pretty immersed into academics. One particular pastor encouraged us to use the same efforts we practice in school on our love towards each other. As such, I often jokingly say, “I’m earning a master’s degree in Shaun Price!” Perhaps a funny statement, the concept is quite true. People are always changing, and we must constantly be up to date on our spouse. Maybe you have achieved a bachelor’s degree of knowledge about your husband- you know their favorite food, the ways they are most ministered to, their favorite way to relax, their hobbies, etc. But I would challenge you to continue to observe your husband. He is not the same man today he was yesterday- our aim as wives should be to grow closer together, rather than further apart. Use your conversation with him to ask intriguing questions- some fun, some serious- such as: If our house burned down and you could only take 5 items with you, what would they be? (And then discuss your similar or different answers, talk about your priorities in life) Where would you like to be spiritually in 6 months, a year, 10 years? (think of realistic goals towards accomplishing these answers and pray towards that end!) What is your least favorite article of clothing and why? What’s on your bucket list? If you could pick any vocation (assuming it automatically provided for the financial needs of the family) what would it be and why? Which of the following do you enjoy giving generously to- the homeless, people we know, or organizations? What is your greatest fear? These should be a few to get you started, and if you already know his answer, think of different questions!
It is always good to create a relaxing environment for learning about your husband. It may not be the best time to ask these questions when children are crying and it is close to bedtime. Create a fun candlelit dinner to eat together after the kids go down, so your conversation won’t be interrupted. Also- sometimes it is helpful to email such questions to your husband earlier in the day so he can come up with adequate answers. After a long day of work, it is often difficult to reproduce the energy required for culvating a relationship, preparation (often on our part) is key. Our anniversary was a fun opportunity to express our affection. Last year we purchased cheap canvases, and painted a sunset together (we aren’t artists by any means, but it gave us lots of laughter and entertainment). This year, we started out at my favorite flower shop and picked out some flowers (all for just £2!). Then we went to dinner (yay for Christy babysitting), quickly browsed some shops before their closing (H&M for me, and checking out the new Ipads for him), and then chatted over a cup of coffee. I thought it would be fun to write out ways we enjoy our marriage, family, and spouse. Shaun suggested we write out 5 things for a category and take turns sharing them and then move to the next category. It was remarkable the ways God had blessed us in just a few years.
These are just ideas that have worked for us, what ways have you and your spouse enjoyed getting to know each other better?
Don’t wait til your next anniversary- do it tonight!
Thanks for reading!